A Few Thoughts About The Smart Set

Just so we are clear on a few things:

  1. If you stick any of your body parts into another person who is unconscious, that is rape. It is not action, fun, normal, and is usually, unlawful.
  2. If you defend a person who does what I have outlined in number 1, then you are misguided, and possibly suffering from what doctors term, “rectal cranial,” inversion.
  3. If you pretend, but are not really sorry, and are only sorry because you were caught, please keep your stupid mouth shut, and your deflections to yourself.
  4. Do not buy “Good English,” Records, go to their concerts, or give them one moment of your time. They are also misguided.
  5. Susan B. Anthony said this: The day will come when men will recognize woman as his peer, not only at the fireside but in the councils of the nation. Then there will be the perfect comradeship between the sexes that shall result in the highest development of the race.”

I think what #5 means is that all of our heads, both men’s and women’s, could actually work together to make the world a better place for all of us. I also have to mention that we have a level necessity to turn the whole process over to the smart set. Here’s the reason: Men have been running the show since, they took that man off that cross, and we have basically screwed the pooch over and over and over.

We have caused wars, famines, floods, man made disasters, a government so bloated and top heavy it’s about to sink. And let’s not get started in that continuing manifest destiny thing that we persist in, that is now staring to destroy the planet’s largest oxygen producer, the rain forests. We have visited Rapa Nui, and still don’t realize that one day we will have neither Easter nor eggs.

My prayer is the prayer that every man should be silently whispering every day. It goes like this: “Dear Cosmic Muffin, Please make it so women still keep giving a crap about the world and how they need to save it. And please let them keep caring about us, because we need each other, in the long run. In the short run, can you please make it so we assist survivors, and not abuse them again by a process that tries to make them a victim, who can’t ever get better.”

Women are stronger than that, if we allow them to be.

amy schumer

Amy Schumer, 2016


Red fox mother play-fighting with kit

Red fox mother play-fighting with kit


Earth Day 2016

Earth Day is on the 22nd of April this year and I don’t really care. I know that sounds crazy but instead of talking about Earth Day and the earth itself, I decided that actions would be louder than words, so I did something, that I felt would really help.

I gave up cars.

Yes, when my wife died in 2013 we had two cars. My wife’s car, which she drove 12 miles to work every day, and back home those same 12 miles. She kept it clean and hated the times when I had to drive her car because we were going somewhere together and she just did not want to put up with the hassle of me being the passenger not the driver. 

My car, on the other hand, was like the “Wreck of the Hesperus.” You could have done surgery in the back seat and no one would notice. My car was the do everything car of the two cars, and life was grand. Until she died and I started pondering life.

I have to say that up until my wife died I had not really considered my position in the world. When I was young I really didn’t care about the resources I was using or how they were used. If someone would have told me that they would have to use a condor to beat a bald eagle to death to get what I wanted I would have only asked the question:

“How Much?”

Because really that’s the only question these days isn’t it? How much can I get for myself? Where is my piece of the pie? Why should I give two shits about others? Why? It seems dumb sometimes, doing something good, making a sacrifice.

So I sold one car to a neighbor, and shipped my wife’s car to my son in Mississippi in September of 2014. So I was then, and still am, without a car. The bus stop is right outside my apartment on both sides of the street, so it’s pretty easy. I work, ha-ha, for myself so there is not a time constraint, so it works.

But I am not doing it for me. I am doing it for my son, his kids, your kids, people I have not met, and all those ones that are going to come after me. How stupid am I to think you can change the world one bus ride at a time? I must be crazy. Then the first time I rode the bus, I found this note, on the seat next to where I sat down.

And I have not stopped riding since then, and am going to ride the bus today. For me, for you, for real change, and just because I can.

In Case You Were Wondering

I am taking a break from writing on these blogs and pages, while I research and work on launching my new website. I thank you for your patronage and look forward to speaking with you again soon. Hang in there people.

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Right From the Afterlife

For a while you are going to feel like everything your wife ever said to you is right. It is. While this might have been annoying while she was alive, it is positively creepy when it happens after she is dead and buried, or burned as was the case with my late wife. Again this plays off that freedom thing.

I remember that one day I wanted spaghetti for dinner. I had not had it while Ruth was sick for the last 11 months of her life, so I thought it might be nice for a change from Burger King. I went to the store and like a zombie I picked up the same spaghetti and sauce we had eaten once a month for 23 years. I did it automatically.

After I had the stuff in the cart I started wondering about the myriad of sauces on the shelf and I thought to myself that  since Ruth was now dead I could get any sauce that I wanted. But which one to get? I finally decided on a sauce that was peddled by a cute woman who was a bit chunky for television but was still very cute. Her face was on the label and everything.

What was bothering me was that I seemed to remember my late wife mentioning something about the spaghetti sauce but I just could not remember, what it could have been. I paid for my stuff and went home and fixed spaghetti for dinner. I heated up the sauce with the face of the chunky girl from the television, and it smelled very good. When it was all done I assembled it along with a nice roll and some very nice grape Kool-Aid.

I took a bite and it tasted like something in-between tomato sauce and ptomaine. Suddenly, my late wifes’ words came rolling out of some old memory banks and I remembered what she said in one second. It was so simple. Ruth said:

“We don’t get that kind of spaghetti sauce because it sucks and you don’t like it.”

That was it. That was what I could not remember and now would never ever forget again. I scooped the whole thing into the garbage can, hopped in Ruth’s car, and sped to the nearest McDonald’s, while blasting her favorite song. Just slightly creepy to say the least. Do yourself a favor and try and eat well.Try getting food you don’t order from a clown’s head or a donkey’s hindquarters. Your arteries will thank you some day.

United States Map, 1778

From what you can see listed on this map from 1778, there was not a lot known about the western portion of the country. I wonder what it must have looked like?

The Pentagram, Number Seven, Autumn 1967

The idea that you could be arrested and prosecuted as a witch in the UK up until the 1960’s is mind-boggling. Arrested and prosecuted for being a witch? In the 20th century? I can’t even imagine it. This is the seventh book in a series. I have never even seen a copy of number six, but I have originals of numbers 1-5. I don’t even show those to folks because they contain actual witchcraft spells. Do they work? I have no idea because I do not fool around with that stuff.

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Fillmore Piru Citrus Association Wind Chill Chart

When you grow up in the city where Sunkist Orange was founded you get to know a few things about citrus. I recently saw an article in the Los Angeles Times wherein people were going to a museum that had a “smudge pot,” and no one knew what it was.

If you grew up in the “Citrus Capital of the World,” you know your smudge pots and you know what a freeze will do to the crop if it happens, hence the chart and the smudge pots. They still use smudge pots in the County of Ventura, where lemons and oranges are king.

Rod Action Magazine, February 1973

Good old “Rod Action” Magazine. There were just a ton of these magazines until Detroit started making cars out of plastic instead of metal. Something gained and something lost I am afraid, but that’s progress. I love the way the Pinto ad fails to mention that it will turn into a giant fireball if you are rear ended.