A Few Thoughts About The Smart Set

Just so we are clear on a few things:

  1. If you stick any of your body parts into another person who is unconscious, that is rape. It is not action, fun, normal, and is usually, unlawful.
  2. If you defend a person who does what I have outlined in number 1, then you are misguided, and possibly suffering from what doctors term, “rectal cranial,” inversion.
  3. If you pretend, but are not really sorry, and are only sorry because you were caught, please keep your stupid mouth shut, and your deflections to yourself.
  4. Do not buy “Good English,” Records, go to their concerts, or give them one moment of your time. They are also misguided.
  5. Susan B. Anthony said this: The day will come when men will recognize woman as his peer, not only at the fireside but in the councils of the nation. Then there will be the perfect comradeship between the sexes that shall result in the highest development of the race.”

I think what #5 means is that all of our heads, both men’s and women’s, could actually work together to make the world a better place for all of us. I also have to mention that we have a level necessity to turn the whole process over to the smart set. Here’s the reason: Men have been running the show since, they took that man off that cross, and we have basically screwed the pooch over and over and over.

We have caused wars, famines, floods, man made disasters, a government so bloated and top heavy it’s about to sink. And let’s not get started in that continuing manifest destiny thing that we persist in, that is now staring to destroy the planet’s largest oxygen producer, the rain forests. We have visited Rapa Nui, and still don’t realize that one day we will have neither Easter nor eggs.

My prayer is the prayer that every man should be silently whispering every day. It goes like this: “Dear Cosmic Muffin, Please make it so women still keep giving a crap about the world and how they need to save it. And please let them keep caring about us, because we need each other, in the long run. In the short run, can you please make it so we assist survivors, and not abuse them again by a process that tries to make them a victim, who can’t ever get better.”

Women are stronger than that, if we allow them to be.

amy schumer

Amy Schumer, 2016

 

Red fox mother play-fighting with kit

Red fox mother play-fighting with kit

 

Mr Happy

As I have mentioned in this series before, you have an extreme amount of freedom now new widower, to do whom and what you like, whenever you would like to do so. It’s a pretty heady feeling to realize that you are responsible only to yourself now. No more better half to remind you why she’s the better half, so get used to it.

My sweet sister-in-law, as I have mentioned previously, gave me a nice book written by a woman whose husband had died suddenly and young. It was a nice book and all and it really went over a lot of stuff that I was going through and had gone through. But it was missing one thing,

Penis thinking.

OK folks we are all adults here and the word penis should not send us running for the hills screaming bloody murder. A lot of the population has them, so everybody better know a little bit about that particular part of the male anatomy. I don’t know if women have the same thing but I do not believe that they do because, I don’t know, just because.

Anyway the thing is that the average male penis thinks it is part of the cranial portion of the anatomy. It thinks it is residing somewhere between the cerebellum and frontal lobe, and as such, should be allowed into the decision making process for everything. What we wear, what you wear, what we see, and what we definitely do not see, are mostly ruled by penis thinking. 

The most obvious and easy way to prove illustrate this point is to look at any 70’s to 80’s jillionaire, who is right on the verge of rigor mortis, and what do they have attached to their wheelchair? That’s right, a large blonde who you would swim toward if the ship was going down because those pontoons are never going to sink. 

In any case, here is the deal. You can go out and start banging everything and everyone in sight. That is your right. After all, you have been married for 21 years and she’s dead, and you did not kill her, and it all seems good. Except for that new first time. 

Remember the first time?

Because guess what new widower? There is going to be a new first time for you if you decide that you want Mr Happy to now play on the neighbor’s Slip ‘N Slide. Are you ready for that? I know you think you might be ready but chances are that you are not. I know the first time I even spoke with a woman after my wife died I drove her away in about 5 minutes.

So here is the thing new widower, take your time, there is no need to re-marry your living ex-wife, your high school girlfriend, or that stripper from Reno. Mr Happy is going to try and convince you otherwise as is his wont. But remember, Mr Happy is not in your brain but in some other place that has no brains. So before you do something stupid like catch HPV, just forget about Mr Happy until a long time has passed. 

Because even brainless Mr Happy, knows when its too soon.

What Lloyd Dobler Said

“I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything, as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or process anything sold, bought or processed.”
 
Photo Courtesy of Bing Wallpaper
 

The Widower and the Candy Store

If you are reading this it’s because:

1. You are lost and meant to find another page

2. You are bored out of your skull and will do anything to avoid working.

3. You are a man whose wife has died, and who has not remarried.

If you meet these criteria, and even if you don’t, then you are in the right place. If you are still confused, ask yourself these questions:

Did you have a wife who died? (Preferably not by your own hand) 

Did you remarry?

Again this information is specific to widowers but anyone who is going through the grief and pain of losing a loved one is also invited to read on. For some reason it hurts less when I laugh, so I try and laugh, and write when I can. Also, this is a place for men who loved their wives. If you are happy she’s gone, go read something else, somewhere else. 

During the 93 days I had a Facebook account I learned a lot of things about friends and family that I not previously known. I heard about births, deaths, tragedies, and just every kind of message that could be conveyed from one human to another human. It was very illuminating. I tried it for 93 days because my late wife Ruth said that if you really want to know if something is for you, then try it for 90 days to see if you like it. 

One of the things I discovered is my 20ish nephew Ramon apparently does not know a female who owns any sort of wearing apparel other than a bathing suit of some sort. I remember those days, before being married, when every woman I knew owned at least a few bathing suits, but most of the time none of them would let you take their picture in the suit. 

The other thing I noticed is bathing suits have gotten incredibly small during the time I was married to my late wife for 21 years, and together for 23 years. Young women are also now much more likely to post a picture of themselves in a bathing suit on various social media outlets. Some even send the photos in themselves, seeking, I don’t know what really.

As a husband I had heard tell of these women, and I was fascinated by the idea of such women. Now that I am a widower I am allowed to actually look at pictures of such women. Nay, these images are fairly shoved at me at a time when even glancing at another woman brings a bit of guilt with it. I tell you the life of the widower is filled with fun situations that you never thought you would ever have to deal with.

It’s like this.

You live next door to a candy store. You live there for 23 years. For 21 of those years you own the house. Throughout those 23 years, you have been told, reminded really, to stay away from the candy store. You were told that the candy store was a place where people who ate the candy got sick and died. So you watched people go in and out of the candy store to no seeming ill effects, but you stayed away.

Then one morning you wake up, walk outside, and on the front of the candy store is a sign and in big red letters it says:

“Under New Management.”

You as a new widower, who is also “Under New Management,” meaning yourself, are curious. It’s to be expected; you are a human man. You are also an idiot if you think you are ready to get married to a stripper from Elko named Rowena, 6 months after your wife of 21 years died. This will not only assure that you are going to die alone, you will also have no money either.

The first year after your wife dies, don’t do anything drastic. New haircut OK. New stripper/hooker/hot mess girlfriend, not so much. Guitar lessons OK. Sipping Jack Daniels from a dominatrix shoe, probably not a good idea. I think you get what I mean. Everyone else who is letting Mr Happy do the thinking for you, well good luck with that. For the first year after the death of your wife, change nothing but your underwear and socks, and save yourself a lot of trouble.


Something

Apparently, just putting images and objects without any explanation is hurting the minds of some folks out there on the internet, so in an attempt to explain these items slightly I will be posting as much factual information as possible regarding each item. So all the information I put with these images and items is factually correct, except for the parts that are not.1-1-duke of norfolk

Sharing a Coke

Sometimes sorrow will come in the mail by accident. Do not let these cosmic disturbances ruin your day or your progress.

Ship wreckage near Tromsø, Norway (Photo Courtesy of Bing Wallpaper)

Every day Bing supplies people with a different scene for their wallpaper. All the images they share are wonderful and are mostly keyed to an event in the world or simply to bring us beauty in places we may not think to look. Thanks again to Bing Wallpaper for this image. Remember to respect the artist and their work.

Ship wreckage near Tromsø, Norway

Ship wreckage near Tromsø, Norway

Someone cue Lulu

“So how do you thank someone/who has taken you from crayons to perfume?/It isn’t easy/but I’ll try…….”             


Lulu

Ruth Decker-Tabarez, Wedding Day, 1992

If you’d rather…..

If you would like to see something where I have expressed an opinion or would like to see my eBay page, and what is for sale, then please see my profile and all my blogs and pages are listed there. fostex cassette tape 005

Why not nothing?

All day, every day, we get bombarded with messages, advertisements, and brain killer fillers. I made this site to combat that push. I thought it would be nice to present things as they are and then let people decide on what they mean. I don’t know what anything means anymore, sometimes everything means nothing, and nothing means everything. I don’t know why that is, but it just is. This site is the antidote for that. I just want people to consider. See a play. Read a book. Play your guitar. Turn off the computer. Go outside. Maybe think a bit, just for a few moments. Also, for full disclosure, most of the items displayed here were either sold or are for sale on my eBay page. Don’t worry, I don’t care if you see everything here for free. Getting your money is not my primary goal. Getting you to stop, think, and then possibly laugh, is my primary goal. the big lie june 1, 1902 012

OK, so I guess we are going to have to scratch that because of Donna from Las Cruces, who cannot figure out what half the stuff here might be. With the fact that the things presented here are one of a kind or rare, I guess some explanation would be helpful. In all cases, most of the information is factual, except for the parts that are not.